loop: atack blame defend retreat

And relations tend to end like that on retreat with them retreating from the relationship entrely.
People may lean more into a few of those stages, some all.
The loop is not always liniar/in that order.

To break the loop requires acnolaging that you did a segment of the loop and that you don’t want to do that anymore / that you want to improve on that by handeling it in a better way.